New London, Dover, Berlin and Dover again: in the last couple of weeks I’ve told stories at an Episcopal Church, Garrison Elementary School, Brown School, and at a health and rehab center. Audiences included 25 kindergartners gathered on a carpet and a gathering of a dozen or so senior citizens, most in wheel chairs. But, you know what, everybody likes a story— it doesn’t matter if you’re five or eighty-five.
During these travels, my ears were perked by some one- or two-liners. You can’t beat a good one- or two-liner. Here are a few:
From a second grader: “RebeccaRule, you look a lot younger on your web site.”
Note: All the students at Garrison School called me RebeccaRule - all one word. They’d done quite a lot of research on me before I arrived. When I introduced myself to one group as Becky Rule, I was swiftly corrected. “No, you’re RebeccaRule.” I LOVE visiting schools. Love it love it love it. Surprises galore!
When asked for questions to be directed to the esteemed guest author (me), a kindergartner said: “Can somebody tie my shoe?”
From a senior:
Q: “What do you do for excitement around here?”
A: “Don’t know, never been excited.”
From an Episcopalian:
At Art’s Hardware Store in New London, the merchandise was a jumble, so you told Art what you wanted and he fetched it for you.
Charlie comes in. Art says, “Charlie, what’s on your mind?”
Charlie says, “It’s sex that’s on my mind, but nails I come for.”
From Carolyn whose father was an artist:
In York, Maine at the Hancock Wharf, he asked a local to pose for a photograph. The local obliged, saying, “You want a picture of an old faht, you got it.”
One more Episcopalian story:
Jules Pellerin was in the boat business on Lake Sunapee. Fella came in with a white water canoe pretty well beat up from an encounter with a rock on the Saco river. Jules patched it up as best he could. Another fella is looking to buy it. “Does it leak?” the fella asks. “Do you want it to?” Jules says.
And the final word from my new best friend, Queeny Cheney, librarian extraordinaire: “Those kindergartners,” she said, “They act just like five year olds.”
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