Bear or bare?

True story, as witnessed by me a few summers back.

So Ada looked out in the front yard and there was bear.  Not a huge bear, but not a little one either.  Kind of a half grown bear.  Urban was taking his nap and she doesn’t usually interrupt his nap, but on this occasion she made an exception. 

“Wake up, Urban, there’s a bear in the yard.”

Urban was pretty excited.  He jumped out of bed, ran to the door. The bear was going up the big pine tree between the house and the lake.  So he grabs his camera and goes out to get a picture.  Ada’s yelling:  “Urban, don’t go out there.”

Meanwhile the bear is about ten feet up the tree.  Ada calls me and says if I want to see a bear I better get over to her place.  So I climb in the kayak because that’s the fastest way -- they live across the channel from our camp.  I’m paddling for godsakes to get to the house before the bear gets away, because I really want to see the bear.  As I approach the dock of Ada and Urban’s next door neighbor, Joe, I see Joe and Pudgy out on Joe’s lawn, each with a glass of wine in hand, setting in lawn chairs.  Joe’s yelling something, not at me, at Urban.  As I get a little closer, I can hear what Joe’s saying:  “For god’s sake, Urban, go back in the house and put some pants on.”