Travels With Becky

Cunnin kids

At the restaurant, Grammie was distressed at little Rory’s behavior. 

“Rory,” she said, “we’re going to have to get you some manners.”      

“I don’t want manners,” Rory said. “I want french fries.”      

Ain’t kids cunnin?  Mine just turned 30 and she’s cunnin. She lives over the garage.

“Someday, Mummy,” she says, “I’m going to fly the nest and then you’ll miss me.” No doubt I will.

True story: Friday brought torrential rain. Only about half the kids showed up to school. On Monday, the teacher received a note: “Miss Pierce. Please excuse Georgie from missing school on Friday. He had diarrhea and his boots leaked.”

I'm back!

Hi all. I’m back from a summer in Maine, and back telling stories all over the place, so, naturally, a lot of new stories will be coming at me, and I’m happy to pass them on to you.

Here’s one:

At town meeting, a warrant article called for a shiny new fire truck – a ladder truck in fact.  But a wise man objected. He said: “There’s three problems. First, we don’t have enough money. Second, we don’t have a building big enough to store it. And third, we don’t have anybody smart enough to drive the back half.”

More Lena lore

One more Lena story from Kenneth Reid. Goes to show that if you live in one place a long time, you know things that people might be surprised you know. Kenneth wrote: 

"Just after we had bought our old house, I looked out my window to see Lena standing behind someone who was working on the house with me. She was just standing there watching as he worked away. 

"I went to the porch and said, 'Hi, Lena.'

"She slowly looked up at me and asked: 'What's he doing?' 

"I answered: 'Scraping the old paint off that door.' 

"She: 'Why's he doing that?'

"Me: 'To make the new paint will stick better.'  

"She: 'He going to do that to all the doors in the house?'

"Me:  'Probably.'

"She: 'All 13 of them?' 

"Me:  'Lena, how did you know there are 13 doors in our house?' 

"She:  Well, there used to be 14 'til you took one out of the kitchen.' "

Now, that's dry

Got this e-mail from Kenneth Reid. He recalls his neighbor Lena and her bone dry sense of humor:

"Thought I would share a couple of Springfield, N.H., stories with you. Used to live in Springfield ... across the road from a widow lady named Lena who was in her eighties. She was a wonderful neighbor and we thoroughly enjoyed her dry sense of humor.  

"One Sunday I was working in my gardens when a car pulled into the road next to my house. The car stopped and Lena got out. She slowly walked in front of my house dressed in her Sunday best. I said 'Hi, Lena. Many at church this morning?' She continued walking, head down, watching her every step, as she responded: 'Eight – if you'd been there.' "

Old Walt

From Jere Henley (native of Warner) come a couple of stories about Old Walt, who’d stop by the house every morning to pass the time and share the gossip.

One night Walt was woken by a loud noise. “Got up this mornin’,” he said, “and saw the barn had fell down.”

Jere asked Walt about a piece of local news. Walt said, “Waal, you kin hear jes’ about anythin’ if you listen hard enough.”

Ain’t it the truth.