This warmed my heart.
A couple of weeks back I was in Grantham twice, once to speak for the library, then 10 days later to speak for the historical society. Both programs were held in the town hall. It was deja vu all over again. At the first program, a lovely woman named Joey Holmes bought a copy of my book, Could Have Been Worse. At the second program, Joey returned all excited. On page 3, she’d found her own story! A story she’d told me some years ago on a previous visit to Grantham. It’s a story I’ve told and retold so much, I’d lost its origins. A story about her husband, Alfred, who’d been road agent in Grantham. It’s a story with some age to it, since Alfred’s been gone now for 17 years. I think Joey was pretty tickled that his story lives on.
Here it is.
At Grantham Town Meeting, more than 17 years ago, a newcomer challenged the road agent’s budget, saying: “You overspent last year and I demand to know why.”
The road agent, Alfred Holmes, leaning into the wall at the back of the gymnasium and sighed. He took the long slow walk down the center aisle to the microphone at the front, all eyes upon him. Sighed again. Sniffed. Adjusted his trousers. Adjusted his suspenders. Adjusted the microphone. The newcomer repeated his request: “We all have to learn to live within our means; what caused you to exceed your budget last winter?”
Alfred said: “It snowed.”
Joey had just one correction. In my book, I ended the story with, “Alfred said, ‘Snow.’ ” Actually, Joey told me, Alfred said, “It snowed.” Any of you who own Could Have Been Worse, I’d appreciate it if you’d make that correction in your copy.
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