Just Ask Ida

Trick or Treat

Halloween was one of my favorite holidays when I was a kid. I mean, people give you candy for dressing like a princess. What’s not to like about that? 

Of course, back then it was dicey, weather-wise. I remember more than one tearful Halloween trudging from house to house in the slush. It wasn’t the lousy weather that got me down. It was having to wear a winter coat over my princess dress, rubber boots in place of patent leather dress-up shoes and my tiara stuck on top of a stupid, knit hat. It’s hard to recover from a fashion tragedy like that. But candy helped!

My sister Irene and me, we trick-or-treated all over town back then. And folks gave us great treats. Real candy, you know? None of this granola bars and all natural fruit chews kind of stuff. We’re talking full size Hershey bars, homemade brownies and of course Mrs. Dugal’s candied apples. 

Nowadays, Halloween makes me feel, oh, a little bittersweet, I guess. It reminds me how things have changed. Charlie and me used to get a least a hundred trick-or-treaters at our house. Now, there’s hardly enough kids to bother buying candy for. ‘Cause what happens is, Charlie and me end up eating whatever candy’s leftover, which we need like a hole in the head. So the last few Halloweens, we ended up going out to dinner. 

People are just more afraid nowadays, you know? Even up here in Mahoosuc Mills. So, there’s a costume party for the kids down to the Community Center, and then they go trick-or-treating to the businesses downtown, their parents trailing close behind. Over to Bouchard’s farm they have a little haunted-hayride type thing, which is nice. But gone are the homemade pirate and gypsy costumes. Kids today are all decked out in I don’t know what all. Can’t even remember the last time I saw Casper the Friendly Ghost made of just a sheet with two holes cut out for the eyes. But I’m dating myself!

My niece Caitlin is 30-years-old now. Too old for trick-or-treating, of course. But she always seems to have a Halloween party or two to go to. I’ve probably told you how creative Caitlin is. You wouldn’t believe some of the stuff she’s come up with. Last year, get this: she went as tooth decay. No kidding! Tooth decay!

First, she made a cape out of black garbage bags. She painted it with little sayings like “Forget Floss,” “Plaque Power, “Down With Dentists,” and “Support Cavity Production.” Caitlin stuck candy wrappers all over the cape, too. Then, she got a bunch of tooth brushes and softened them up in the oven. She bent ‘em into different shapes, and once they hardened back up, made ‘em into a necklace by stringing ‘em together with floss. Oh, and she made earrings using them little portable floss sticks. Caitlin dressed up in black leggings and a black top and painted her face sort of yucky green, with dark circles under her eyes, blacked-out teeth and her hair teased into a rat’s nest. Never seen anything like it!

The last time I went trick-or-treating was in eighth grade, I think. I was sitting there doing my homework Halloween night, and I kept getting distracted by the sounds of kids laughing outside, our door bell ringing and visions of Mary Janes and Tootsie Pops dancing in my head. Then I thought, Hey, I’m short. Nobody’ll know the difference. To heck with homework! So, I put on my Dad’s hunting vest and his orange hat with the ear flaps, and my big Sorel boots. Then, I tied a bandana over my nose and mouth, and off I went.

Nobody thought anything of it. And I come away with a pretty good haul, too. Got one of Mrs. Dugal’s candied apples, that I remember. Hmm, biting into that sweet, crunchy coating, the hint of cinnamon and the tang of tart, juicy Macintosh apple. That’s what Halloween tastes like to me.

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

IDA's PODCAST: Trick or Treat 

Coming Up This Week:

October 27: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You, Community Concepts staff retreat, 1:00 p.m. & 2:15 p.m., Newry, ME

Upcoming Performances and Book Events: Fall

November 7-9: I Married an Alien, The Public Theatre, Friday and Saturday at 7:00 p.m., Sunday at 3:00 p.m., Lewiston, ME

November 20: Book Reading, Hubbard Free Library, 6:30 p.m., Hallowell, ME

November 29 & 30: A Very Ida Christmas, The Footlights, Saturday at 7:00 p.m., Sunday at 2:00 p.m., Falmouth, ME

Sending Grace

Last week was the anniversary of my mother’s death. Eleven years! I can’t believe it. It seems like only yesterday and at the same time, a million years ago.  

My mom lived with cancer on and off for four and a half years. And boy, oh, boy, that last one was tough. I like roller coaster rides and all, but at the fair. Not so much at home.

Her dying wasn’t scary, like you’d think. It was a natural thing. Beautiful, in a stark sort of way. And the hospice people were great! What a wonderful organization. The nurses, social workers, chaplain and volunteers just couldn’t have been nicer. They were there when we needed them, and made us feel like we weren’t so alone.

Mom died at home in her Barkalounger. My Dad, sister Irene, and I were all there, touching her when she breathed her last breath. Dad kept that Barkalounger in the den where it had always been until we moved him to Mahoosuc Green—our senior living facility—three years later. That might creep some people out, but as he likes to say, “Heck, it was a perfectly good Barkalounger.” 

About a year after my mother died, though, I hit a wall. I started to feel kind of depressed and angry. I wasn't depressed because my Mom died, because she was suffering, but I felt sad that life had moved on and started to fill in the place where she used to be. Poor Charlie! I’m afraid I was more than a little short tempered. When I almost snapped his head off for some little thing that I can’t even remember now, I decided I needed to do something, and went to a hospice grieving group for four or five months. The group helped get me over the hump.

And just like that, eleven years have passed. She’s still with me though. Mom helps me find bargains when I’m shopping. And I think of her when I’m making meatloaf or her marvelous cookie squares. And when I’m upset about something, I pray she’ll send me grace.

Every once in a while, I’ll run into someone, one of her friends or some kid all grown up now, who sold her Girl Scout cookies long ago, and they’ll tell me how much they miss her, or how nice she was buying three boxes of cookies instead of just one. They might get a little teary, but it always makes me smile. I can still feel the ripples of my mother’s life here in Mahoosuc Mills.

My niece Caitlin always has an interesting take on things. She says time isn’t “linear.” You know, that it’s all happening at once. Well, that’s a little too woo, woo for me, but on the anniversary of my mother’s death, as it approaches four in the afternoon, I don’t care what I’m doing, I stop and take a minute to picture my Dad, Irene, and I all gathered around Mom, touching her and telling her it’s alright to let go. I hold that picture in my head, and send myself a message: it’s alright, Ida. You can do this. It’s going to be alright, dear. And I send love and grace back to all of us in that picture.

I know this sounds kind of wacky, but I guess I’m hedging my bets in case Caitlin’s right.

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

IDA's PODCAST: Sending Grace  

Coming Up This Week:

October 26: Book Reading, Betsy Ross House, 3:00 p.m., South Portland, ME

Upcoming Performances and Book Events: Fall

October 27: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You, Community Concepts staff retreat, 1:00 p.m. & 2:15 p.m., Newry, ME

November 7-9: I Married an Alien, The Public Theatre, Friday and Saturday at 7:00 p.m., Sunday at 3:00 p.m., Lewiston, ME

November 20: Book Reading, Hubbard Free Library, 6:30 p.m., Hallowell, ME

November 29 & 30: A Very Ida Christmas, The Footlights, Saturday at 7:00 p.m., Sunday at 2:00 p.m., Falmouth, ME

Charm Factor

Sad to say, yard sale season is winding down, but there are still bargains to be had. I was out browsing around the area with Dottie last weekend, seeing if we could score some last minute deals. She’s always looking for stuff for up to their camp.  

“You mind if I bring Scamp?” I ask.

“Nah, bring him along.”

Scamp just loves being part of the pack. He’s happy to go anywhere, anytime. And you know what? The little bugger is a great negotiating tool. Softens up even the most tight fisted seller. If I’m really interested in something, I tell Scamp to sit. When he’s sitting, looking up, cocking his head, that big eyed dog look is especially effective. Before you know it, he’s got whoever he’s staring at under his spell, and I usually walk away with a deal. Charm factor, I call it.

We stopped at one place I thought Charlie would love, so I called him up and told him. Why would Charlie like it? Well, the fella there had table after table of, you guessed it, rusty old junk: tools, machine parts and I don’t know what all. I heard the guy joking with a friend, “Stack ‘em deep. Sell ‘em cheap.” Gotta love it!

We actually went as far afield as Dover-Foxcroft, where Dottie got a great deal on one of those Singing Santas. Well, great deal for her, anyways. I’m not into that kind of thing. Just too Bride of Chucky for me. Besides, it’s way too early to be thinking about Christmas. I’m just gearing up for Halloween.

We hit a minor jackpot at the next place, too. Dottie got a fondue pot, complete with the little forks (most of them anyway), and I scored some hangers with the crocheted covers, like my Aunt Claudette used to make. And, praise the Lord, a nice looking boot brush for Charlie! One with some life still left in it! We’ve gotten more than our money’s worth out of the other one, let me tell you! I can’t wait to give it the old heave-ho.

While we were there, this kind of tough looking guy drove up on his motorcycle. The sort of fella that looks like he’s been ridden hard and put away wet, if you know what I’m saying: craggy face, big beard, tattoos. He was with this gal who had to be a good fifteen years younger; nice looking though you could tell she probably spent too much time out in the sun. But they were laughing and looking at stuff together. He really lit up when he sees Scamp. Comes right over. 

“Hi there, little fella! Aren’t you cute. Mind if I pet him?”

“Not at all.” 

“And what’s your name?”

“His name’s Scamp.”

“Scamp, I’m Trevor. Nice to meet you.” And he shakes Scamp’s paw. Scamp, just laps up the attention, of course, like he’s starved for it, the little faker.

“Oh, what a good boy you are! Yes you are!” This big, biker fella is totally butter around Scamp. “What kind of dog?” 

“Oh, we don’t know for sure. He’s a rescue.”

“So am I!” he laughs, winking at his gal pal.

“And she chimes in, “You got that right!”

That was my favorite part of the whole day. That and the hot fudge sundaes Dottie and me had after. I figured Scamp had worked overtime, so I got him an itty bitty size cup of vanilla soft serve. No objections there!

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

IDA's PODCAST: Charm Factor

October 26: Book Reading, Betsy Ross House, 3:00 p.m., South Portland, ME

October 27: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You, Community Concepts staff retreat, 1:00 p.m. & 2:15 p.m., Newry, ME

November 7-9: I Married an Alien, The Public Theatre, Friday and Saturday at 7:00 p.m., Sunday at 3:00 p.m., Lewiston, ME

November 20: Book Reading, Hubbard Free Library, 6:30 p.m., Hallowell, ME

November 29 & 30: A Very Ida Christmas, The Footlights, Saturday at 7:00 p.m., Sunday at 2:00 p.m., Falmouth, ME