Just Ask Ida

At Loose Ends

You remember Patsy, don’t you? My hairdresser? Well, she recently went in for a hysterectomy. I guess she was due to have it for some time. Still, it was a shock. Nowadays, where most surgeries are laparoscopic, this one is still the old-fashioned kind, with cutting and weeks of recovery. I mean, anytime they let you stay overnight in the hospital, you know it’s serious! 

As I’ve said before, I’ve been going to Pasty every Saturday morning since she opened Hair Affair some twenty-five years ago. For the record, Patsy is a good solid hairdresser. Sure, occasionally she gets a little distracted and I’m forced to do a “Hairdresser Smackdown,” but all in all, she’s a keeper. 

So three weeks ago, when Patsy announced that she had to have the big “H,” as she calls it, and was taking six weeks off to recover, it kind of threw me for a loop. My mouth said all the right things, “Oh, Patsy! I’m sorry to hear that. But you’ll feel so much better once it’s done. You take all the time you need to get back on your feet.” And part of me really did mean it, too.

But sadly, another part of me, a pretty big part, really, was silently screaming, “What about me? What am I supposed to do? I can’t go six weeks without having my hair done! How could you just abandon me like this?” Not pretty, I know, but it’s the truth. I hope I’m not alone here. Have you ever felt this way when your hairdresser tells you she’s getting’ married and moving away? Or is having a baby and taking two months off for maternity leave? Part of you is pleased, sure, but another part is, well, kind of miffed!

Now when Patsy takes a vacation for a couple of weeks, I just go down to Bangor, to Sheer Excitement in the mall, and get my hair done there. It’s too weird to go to anyone else in Mahoosuc Mills. They all know I’m one of Patsy’s girls. Most of the time, the gals at Sheer Excitement do an adequate job. Though once I ended up looking like a little Meme with them too tight curls. That was a long week, let me tell you.

But six weeks is just too many trips to Bangor. So I finally decided to give Claudette down at Loose Ends a try. What a sweetheart she is! She squeezed me in Saturday by coming in a half hour early. Isn’t that nice? She offered me a cup of coffee, too, and really took her time, listening to what I was looking for and making a suggestion or two.

The end result? Complete and utter disaster! Claudette did a better job than Patsy! At first I thought it was just because it was my first time. But I went back this week, and Claudette knocked it out of the park again! It makes my heart sink to I think about it. Why even my husband Charlie noticed.

“Ida, don’t you look nice today, dear. New top?”

“No, it’s my hair.”

“You’re right. It’s different. I like it!”

“Oh, please don’t say that, Charlie.”

“Why not? Looks great!”

So I give Charlie the scoop.

“What’s the big deal?” he says. “Tell Patsy you need a change, and switch to Claudette.”

“I wish I could, Charlie, but I just don’t have it in me.” 

So, I’m at Loose Ends for four more weeks, then back to Hair Affair. What is it with a woman and her hairdresser? It’s got to be the most dysfunctional relationship in my life. There should be some kind of Twelve Step program or something, Hairdressers Anonymous, for all of us women who are utterly powerless to leave our hairdressers.

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

IDA's Podcast: At Loose Ends

Upcoming Shows & Book Events: Spring

May 3  New Keynote Speech, Alpha Beta State Conference, 1:30 p.m., Bowie, Maryland

May 19  Book Club Visit, 10:00 a.m., Portsmouth, NH

For details, please check out the schedule page on my website: http://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule

 

Makin’ Whoopee!

I’ve been on a whoopie pie kick lately. I made some for the bake sale down to the Community Center last weekend. ‘Course I had to sample a couple, you know, for quality control. They were so good, I came home and made a batch for Charlie and me. God, there’s nothing like a fresh from the oven whoopie pie with a glass of cold milk!

In case you’ve never had one (and that is a sad state of affairs), our traditional whoopie pie is two cookie-sized rounds of chocolate cake with white frosting in between—kind of like a sandwich, only better! The frosting is usually made with vegetable shortening (that’s how I like them), though some folks I know mix a little Marshmallow Fluff into theirs. . 

They come in lots of fancy schmancy flavors, what you call your gourmet whoopie pies—you know, pumpkin with a cream cheese frosting, gingerbread filled with maple cream, lemon with raspberry butter cream, chocolate peppermint, chocolate peanut butter, you name it. I even saw one place that was offering a light whoopie pie. To which I say, Why bother? Oh, I’ve had some fancy whoopie pies and they were tasty, but I’m partial to the traditional chocolate one because it reminds me of being a kid, you know? When life was sweet, simple and easy.

Awhile back, some folks pushed for the whoopie pie to be the official Maine State dessert, but, alas, the blueberry pie won that battle. Fans didn’t give up, though, and in 2011, the whoopie pie was declared the official Maine State Treat. Of course, one fella made a big deal about this business of honoring the whoopie pie, you know, saying we were promoting obesity. I’m thinking, Come on! It’s called a treat for a reason. We’re not talking about lobbying to have whoopie pies be part of the food pyramid! For crying in your chowdah! I’m sorry, but broccoli as the official Maine State Treat doesn’t cut it in my book.

Actually, the whoopie pie is a source of even greater controversy than that. Maine, New Hampshire and Pennsylvania all claim to be the birthplace of this delicacy. In fact, when Maine was pushing to make it our official treat, some folks in Pennsylvania raised a stink, calling it “confectionary larceny,” which I feel is a bit strong on their part. The controversy rages on, with no end in sight!

Now as to the name, there are a few different stories as to how it come to be called the whoopie pie. The Pennsylvania Amish say that whenever a farmer out in the field or some kid at school unwrapped his lunch and found one, they’d holler, “Whoopee!” 

Our version is a little different. Back in the depression, this Maine woman was baking a cake and had some batter left over. She didn’t want to waste it, so she put a couple of big spoonfuls onto cookie sheet and baked it. Later, she filled it with frosting, took a bite and exclaimed, “Whoopee, it worked!”

I like that story best because it rings true, doesn’t it? There’s a woman at the center, efficiently doing her job, facing down economic adversity, but improvising, being creative, trying something new, being happily surprised by the outcome and then unleashing it on the world to thunderous acclaim. It doesn’t get much sweeter than that. 

Besides, who else but a woman would invent portable cake?

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

IDA's PODCAST: Makin' Whoopee! 

Upcoming Shows and Book Events: Spring

April 21  A Visit With Ida, Huntington Common, 2:00 p.m., Kennebunk, ME

April 26  A Visit With Ida, Maine Knights of Columbus, 11:00 a.m., Newry, ME

May 3  New Keynote Speech, Alpha Beta State Conference, 1:30 p.m., Bowie, Maryland

May 19  Book Club Visit, 10:00 a.m., Portsmouth, NH

For details, please check out the schedule page on my website: http://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule

Easter Memories

I love it when Easter comes late in April. Yes, it’s nice to have a holiday in March, but too many times that means cold and snow, which is disappointing. Easter is about daffodils, bunnies and sunshine. It’s about eating too much ham and scalloped potatoes and way too much chocolate.

Back when I was a kid, I prayed for a beautiful spring Easter day. Not so the Easter Bunny wouldn’t have to hop, hop, hop through the snow. No, I prayed for good weather so I could wear my new Easter dress with white ankle socks or tights, white patent leather shoes, my pink Easter coat (my sister Irene’s was identical, but blue), white straw hat with fake flowers and white gloves—all brand, spanking new. Oh, and new underwear, too. I almost forgot about that.

I hardly slept the night before, hoping the weather would cooperate. That’s how excited I was to wear my new clothes. Irene and I would lay out our new stuff the night before. When we woke up that morning, there’d be a trail of jelly beans from our bed to our Easter baskets in the living room. This is back in the days before Ronald Reagan made jelly beans famous, and they started coming in exotic flavors. When I was a kid, the black jelly beans (which were my favorite) still tasted like licorice. All the others tasted like cheap perfume, but we ate them anyway.

Early on, our Easter baskets were loaded up with lots of that shredded, pastel cellophane, and nestled on top were Hershey’s chocolate eggs wrapped in brightly colored aluminum foil, chocolate bunnies and stuffed toy rabbits. As we got older, the stuffed toys were replaced by barrettes, Jacks, and Mickey Mouse Pez dispensers, then with mascara, eye shadow, and our favorite perfume. Except at our grandparents' houses, where the baskets (our second and third of the day) were always full of good old-fashioned chocolate goodies. One year, my grandmother gave us each a solid milk chocolate rabbit. The thing must have weighed about a pound or two. It took Irene and me a couple of weeks to finish ours off. I don’t know how we did it, but somehow we managed.

Even after we were too old for Easter baskets, we'd find a big, honking Russell Stover Vanilla or Coconut Cream Egg at the family table Easter morning. Mom, Dad, Irene and I would start chipping away at our egg before breakfast, one little slice at a time. We’d each try to save some of our egg until Monday, but by dinnertime, we’d be done. Sure, it made us nauseous, but it was the good kind of nauseous, you know, from eating too many sweets.

Marshmallow Peeps are strangely missing from my memory. I guess we figured, why waste our time on fluorescent colored sugar when we can have chocolate? 

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flipside!

IDA's PODCAST: Easter Memories

 

Upcoming Shows and Book Events: Spring

April 21  A Visit With Ida, Huntington Common, 2:00 p.m., Kennebunk, ME

April 26  A Visit With Ida, Maine Knights of Columbus, 11:00 a.m., Newry, ME

May 3  New Keynote Speech, Alpha Beta State Conference, 1:30 p.m., Bowie, Maryland

May 19  Book Club Visit, 10:00 a.m., Portsmouth, NH

For details, please check out the schedule page on my website: http://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule