There are lessons you have to re-learn over and over. You know, ‘cause they really didn’t stick the first, second or hundredth time. Well, I recently had a chance to experience one of these “FGO’s”, as my cousin Mikey calls ‘em. What is that, you may ask. Well, I’ll tell you: “friggin’ growth opportunity.”
OK, so a few of weeks ago, I did a book reading at the Yarmouth Historical Society. Nice turn out! And I had a great time sharing my book, chattin’ with folks and laughing. It may surprise you to hear I’m a talker, so, per usual, we ran a little late. It was 8:30 p.m. by the time I started packing up, and I had a two hour drive ahead of me. Plus, I needed to get up early the next morning to make cookies for the bake sale down to the Community Center, then drop ‘em off before I go to work at 11:00 a.m. I’m packin’ up, but in my head it’s already tomorrow morning, and I’m thinking about my timeline, so I can get everything done I want to get done. That was Mistake Number One. Be here now, Ida!
Noticin’ all my baggage, the director of the Historical Society and the nice gal she’s chatting with ask, “Can we help you bring your stuff out to the car?”
“No,” I say. I got it.” ‘Cause, you know, I don’t want to trouble them.
“Let us get the door for you at least, Ida!” they offer.
So, I grab my music stand, my handbag (which could double as an overnight bag), my tote bag with my book, notebook and other assorted essentials, my water bottle and my table top Finding Your Inner Moose sign, and lurch toward the door.
Out in the parking lot, it’s wicked dark. But instead of going back in and askin’ them to turn on the outside light, I barrel ahead. I’m thinking, "What time do I need to set my alarm for tomorrow morning?"
Now my car used to have one of them key operated locking systems with an alarm, but it was the darndest thing. The doors would lock on their own accord. You know, like the thing was possessed. Then the alarm would go off and wake up the whole neighborhood. It was just too freaky, so Charlie fiddled with the wires and disconnected it. Long story short, I have to open the car the old fashioned way, with a key. But it’s dark, and I can’t see enough to do that.
No problem, I think. I’ll just get out my smart phone and use that flashlight app my niece Caitlin put on it. (I know, pretty swanky, huh?) The little voice in my head says, "Put everything down, Ida, so you can get out the phone." But I don’t have time for that. No, I have to get home so I can make those cookies tomorrow morning. My arms and hands are loaded with stuff, but I pull some sort of Houdini move and snake my hand into my purse, get out my smart phone, turn it on, find the app, get the flashlight workin’, insert the key in the lock and unlock the car. “Don’t drop your smart phone,” the little voice says, just as I lose my grip and the little bugger falls to the pavement. Oh God, the sickening sound of plastic hitting hot-top.
A little late, I put everything down and pick up the phone. The screen is black. I can hear the phone workin’, can put it on vibrate and everything, but I can’t get the screen to light up. I’m so mad at myself! I throw my stuff in the back of the car, get into the drivers' seat, jam the key in the ignition and open the bag of M&M’s I’d brought along to savor on my way home. In two handfuls, it’s gone - just like that. Didn’t taste a thing. Mindless stress eating, 101. Thankfully, Charlie wasn’t up when I got home to hear me rantin’ and ravin’. He was snorin’ to beat the band. And poor Scamp didn’t quite get the greeting he’s used to gettin'.
The next day, after getting up early to bake the cookies, I drive an hour to the Verizon store in Newport to see if they can fix my phone. I couldn’t sleep at all that night, wondering how much damage I’d done to it, how much it might cost to replace. Didn’t really want a smart phone when Caitlin talked me into it, but now I’m hooked.
I walk into the Verizon store and there’s this scruffy kid behind the counter. I mean, I have no confidence whatsoever that he can fix my iPhone. I explain my sorry situation.
“Let me see that thing,” he says, and starts fiddling with it. I hold my breath as we both stare at the screen. Suddenly, the apple appears! That beautiful apple. I want to kiss the kid on the lips!
There you have it, folks: another Friggin’ Growth Opportunity. Me, once again, getting ahead of myself, not asking for help when I needed it, or taking it when it was offered. All I had to do was say “yes,” and I didn’t. How bad is that? I know I’m supposed to listen to that little voice in my head, but I didn’t do that, either. And to top it off, I reverted to mindless, stress eating in an effort to make it all better, which, of course, it didn’t. That is a lot of no-no’s.
Anyhoo, thank goodness for those FGO’s, ‘cause they remind us what’s what. Right, Mikey?
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
IDA's PODCAST: Another Friggin' Growth Opportuny
Performances and Book Events: Fall
November 1: I Married an Alien!, Merrimack College, Rogers Center for the Arts, 7:30pm, North Andover, MA
November 6: Keynote, The Moose in Me, The Moose in You!, 7th Annual Statewide Caregivers Conference, 9:15am, Concord, NH
November 16: The Best of Ida, Ogunquit Performing Arts, 7:00pm, Ogunquit, ME
November 30: Book Signing with Rebecca Rule, Kittery Trading Post, 11am-2pm, Kittery, ME
December 16: A Visit With Ida, Huntington Commons, 2:00pm, Kennebunk, ME
For details, please check out the schedule page on my website: http://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule
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