Just Ask Ida

It’s Fall, After All

Holy guacamole! It’s the last day of September! Can carved pumpkins, turkey with all the fixin’s and the fat guy in the red suit be far away? 

This October, Charlie and me are hoping to go the Topsfield Fair, down in Massachusetts, and check out their Giant Pumpkin Contest. We’ve never been, and I think it’s high time we do. I’ll keep you posted.

Our neighbor Gretchen made us aware of this contest a few years ago, when she followed her passion and grew a giant pumpkin. That baby was something to behold. Godzilla, they called it, and it topped out at just under four hundred pounds. Gretchen says that’s small stuff compared to the ginormous ones they get at the Fair. She’s continued growin’ giant pumpkins every year since that first one, but as she’ll tell you, if given half a chance, that none of ‘em compare to Godzilla. Like everything else, I guess there was just something special about that first one.

Fall’s a good time for apple pickin,’ of course, whether that means pick your own or pick ‘em off the shelf at the local farm stand. We go up to Bouchard’s farm, where on the weekends they serve homemade donuts and hot apple cider in their little farm store. They make some tasty apple muffins, too; perfect with their own apple butter. There’s a corn maze for the adventurous, and hay rides for the kids. I can’t believe the variety of apples grown in Maine, now. Remember when “apple” meant McIntosh? Red Delicious? Maybe a Golden Delicious if you were lucky enough to come across one? Now, it’s hard to choose. Pink Ladies are my favorite off season apple, you know, the ones I get down at the A&P. But if the apple’s fresh, it’s fun to experiment: Ginger Gold, Macoun, Cox Orange Pippin, Northern Spy.

I’ve been tidying up my garden, dead heading and stuff, but am always reluctant to cut back my perennials and wait as long as I can. I know the day will come, sometime in October, after we’ve had a frost or two and everything looks brown and scraggly, I’ll get out the clippers and go to town. I don’t think of it as preparing for winter. I say to myself, I’m gettin’ ready for spring.

I remember the year my mom passed away (ten years ago this October, can’t believe it), I never did get to putting my garden to bed. I was just too wiped out. Come that spring, I watched my crocuses try to maneuver around those stalks of dried plants that should have been cut back that fall, seekin’ the sun light, and I thought, I know how you feel, guys. I know how you feel.

That’s enough of that, Ida! Slather some apple butter on one of those apple muffins, pour yourself another cup of coffee, step outside on the deck and take a good whiff of the crisp, autumn air. Be here now, live life to the fullest and don’t forget your lip gloss!

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

Ida's Podcast: It's Fall, After All

Performances and Book Events: Fall
October 8: A Visit With Ida, Fall Senior Lucheon for First Congregational Church of Manchester, 12:00pm, Manchester, NH
October 9: Book Reading, Raymond Public Library, 6:00pm, Raymond, ME
October 10: A Visit With Ida, York County Retired Educators 50th Celebration, 1:30pm, Wells, ME
October 11: Book Reading, Boothbay Harbor Memorial Library Literary Luncheon, 12:00pm, Boothbay Harbor, ME
November 1: I Married an Alien!, Merrimack College, Rogers Center for the Arts, 7:30pm, North Andover, MA
November 6: Keynote, The Moose in Me, The Moose in You!, 7th Annual Statewide Caregivers Conference, 9:15am, Concord, NH
November 16: The Best of Ida, Ogunquit Performing Arts, 7:00pm, Ogunquit, ME
November 30: Book Signing with Rebecca Rule, Kittery Trading Post, 11am-2pm, Kittery, ME
December 16: A Visit With Ida, Huntington Commons, 2:00pm, Kennebunk, ME

For details, please check out the schedule page on my website: http://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule

 

Gratitude, Kittens and Food Porn or What I Like About Facebook

Facebook. I have friends who say it’s totally a waste of time. Me? I like it. Let me say up front, I avoid anything political on Facebook. That would defeat the point for me. You go that route, and before you know it, you’re either all wound up or down in the dumps about something. That, in my opinion, is a waste of time.

Facebook helps me keep up with my nieces and nephews. God, they seem to have a good time! Funny thing is, whether they’re in college or on summer vacation, the photos look remarkably the same. They are livin’ the good life, that’s for sure.

There’s a lot of gratitude on Facebook. You know, people who post about the five things they’re grateful for that day. I never read the five things. Frankly, I don’t care what they are. But I do care about the fact that these folks are grateful. That makes me happy, and reminds me to be grateful, too.

Then there’s the endless stream of cute pet stuff. (Have to admit I’m an offender here. But, who could resist Scamp?) And yes, I did just spent two minutes and thirty-nine seconds watchin’ a video of a kitten in a paper bag, but there was something kind of mesmerizing about it. And I don’t even like cats!

But for me, the real piece de resistance is food porn. I’m not talking about pictures of what folks ate at a restaurant. No, I like the ones with recipes attached, recipes that call for lots of cheese or chocolate or a luscious cake made with a box of cake mix and just three other ingredients.

But you know how sometimes you can be scanning your Facebook newsfeed, and all of a sudden something jumps out at you? Something that takes you on a magical journey? Well, that happened to me Friday morning. Suddenly, I see these cupcakes. I would have passed them by, except they had bacon stickin’ out of ‘em. Now, if you follow my blog, you know I’m batty for bacon. Bacon just kind of makes everything better, doesn’t it?

Well, I read the caption to the photo and it says, “Wild Maine Blueberry Cupcakes with Maple Frosting and Candied Bacon.” Get outta town! First off you’re combining two of my favorite foods, candy plus bacon, then you’re addin’ in the Nectar of the Gods, maple syrup, and throwing in some anti-oxidants for good measure. I’m thinkin’, These puppies would be perfect for breakfast. I become possessed. I mean, I need to find that recipe.

I google blueberry cupcakes with maple frosting and find a bunch of recipes, including one with a maple brown butter frosting (maple plus brown butter, even better). Then I search for candied bacon and find a video on how to make it. Warning: If you’re at all hungry, do not watch this thing.

I go back to my google search. There’s a recipe for Brown Sugar Cupcakes with Maple Frosting and Candied Bacon. And, hold on a minute, Candied Bacon Cupcakes with Chocolate Frosting. Oh God, listen to this: Chocolate Cupcakes with Maple Buttercream Frosting and Candied Bacon, Double Chocolate Bacon Cupcakes, Chocolate Beer Batter Cupcakes with Maple Bacon Frosting topped with Crumbled Candied Bacon. By now you’re getting what I mean by “food porn.”

Something else catches my eye. Wait for it: Candied Bacon Ice Cream. I know, huh? Just when you thought life couldn’t get better, something like this comes along. I follow the link to the recipe. This isn’t ordinary ice cream. No, it’s homemade ice cream custard. (Ice cream plus custard? Yikes!). We’re talkin’ egg yolks, brown sugar and Half and Half with a little dark rum thrown in for good measure: Breakfast of Champions!

What the heck. I search candied bacon ice cream and find recipes for Salted Caramel and Candied Bacon Ice Cream (I’m cuckoo for caramel, too), Smoked Maple Ice Cream with Candied Bacon, Smoky Chocolate Porter Ice Cream with Beer Candied Bacon, Salty Popped Corn and Caramel-Candied Bacon Ice Cream, and, my heart be still, a Brown Butter Candied Bacon Ice Cream and Chocolate Chip Cookie Sandwich. By now I’m losin’ it, folks, totally losin’ it.

Then, I happen to glance at the time. Whoa! I’m gonna be late for work if I don’t move it.

Now you may think this sounds like a complete waste of time. OK, but consider the alternative. I could’ve spent the same amount of time reading the newspaper or listening to the news, getting’ really depressed about stuff I can’t do anything about. What’s the point of that? This way, I scamper off to work with a spring in my step, propelled by the very notion of blueberry cupcakes with maple frosting and candied bacon. It’s a beautiful world!

That’s if for now. Catch you on the flip side!

Ida's Podcast: Facebook

Performances and Book Events: Fall
October 8: A Visit With Ida, Fall Senior Lucheon for First Congregational Church of Manchester, 12:00pm, Manchester, NH
October 9: Book Reading, Raymond Public Library, 6:00pm, Raymond, ME
October 10: A Visit With Ida, York County Retired Educators 50th Celebration, 1:30pm, Wells, ME
October 11: Book Reading, Boothbay Harbor Memorial Library Literary Luncheon, 12:00pm, Boothbay Harbor, ME
November 1: I Married an Alien!, Merrimack College, Rogers Center for the Arts, 7:30pm, North Andover, MA
November 6: Keynote, The Moose in Me, The Moose in You!, 7th Annual Statewide Caregivers Conference, 9:15am, Concord, NH
November 16: The Best of Ida, Ogunquit Performing Arts, 7:00pm, Ogunquit, ME
November 30: Book Signing with Rebecca Rule, Kittery Trading Post, 11am-2pm, Kittery, ME
December 16: A Visit With Ida, Huntington Commons, 2:00pm, Kennebunk, ME

For details, please check out the schedule page on my website: http://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule

Eating Like I'm Goin' to Jail

Man, here I was getting’ all revved up for my “getting down to business” fall routine, when what should hit me but a cold. Bugger! It completely blind-sided me, that’s for sure.

During all the usual beginning stages (sore throat, runny nose and headache), I didn’t really feel much like eating. Frankly, my head felt too big to fit through the kitchen doorway. Now it’s day six, and I’ve transformed into a regular mucus producing machine, with an irritating cough that only shows up when I’m on the phone, in a movie theater, and goin’ to bed. I don’t get it. Why is it that most of the day I don’t cough, and the minute I get into bed, ka-blooey? All’s calm, then I get this tickle in my throat, on the left side, now the right. I try to hold it in so Charlie can sleep, but that only makes matters worse. Eventually, he jumps ship for his Barcalounger. Then the brakes are off, and I really start hackin’ and hewin’. Cough drops and syrup help a little. That, and sleepin’ with three pillows, which has the residual effect of givin’ me a crick in my neck. Delightful, huh? But there’s more.

All this restless sleeping gives me nightmares. I mean, really yucky dreams that make you wonder about yourself. I’m thinking, is this the stuff I usually dream about, and just don’t remember? If it is, I’d prefer not to wander around in my head unsupervised.

Boy, I had this one corker where I dreamed I got fired from the A&P. I’m screamin’ and yellin’ at my boss. Even took a swing at him! It was so real, it took me awhile the next morning to realize it wasn’t true. Man, was I ever relieved! Chip’s a good guy. We may not see eye to eye on everything, but I’ve got nothin’ against him.

On top of that, all this coughin’ and dreamin’ has made me wicked hungry. I mean, I’ve been eating like I’m goin’ to jail! And you can bet your sweet bippy I’m not poundin’ down brown rice, tofu and steamed veggies. No, more like a vat of macaroni and cheese, with a Cherry Garcia chaser. Or how about a slab of shepherd’s pie, followed by a mountain of French cream custard. Or a bowl of bread pudding or two or three. Let’s face it, bread pudding is a near perfect food, good for a meal or dessert, and especially tasty for breakfast with light cream poured on top. I’m just sayin’.

But you know, every day I feel a little better. And as I do, I appreciate how much energy and enthusiasm for life I usually have, my normal sleep pattern of only wakin’ up two, three times a night to pee, and other than that, not rememberin' too much about it and most of all, how gosh, darn, good I usually feel. I guess, if you look hard enough, there’s an up side to everything.

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

Ida's Podcast: Eating Like I'm Goin' to Jail

Coming Up This Week:
September 19: Book Reading, Yarmouth Historical Society, 7:00pm, Yarmouth, ME

Performances and Book Events: Fall
October 9: Book Reading, Raymond Public Library, 6:00pm
October 10: A Visit With Ida, York County Retired Educators 50th Celebration, 1:30pm, Wells, ME
October 11: Book Reading, Boothbay Harbor Memorial Library Literary Luncheon, 12:00pm, Boothbay Harbor, ME
November 1: I Married an Alien!, Merrimack College, Rogers Center for the Arts, 7:30pm, North Andover, MA
November 6: Keynote, The Moose in Me, The Moose in You!, 7th Annual Statewide Caregivers Conference, 9:15am, Concord, NH
November 16: The Best of Ida, Ogunquit Performing Arts, 7:00pm, Ogunquit, ME
November 30: Book Signing with Rebecca Rule, Kittery Trading Post, 11am-2pm, Kittery, ME
December 16: A Visit With Ida, Huntington Commons, 2:00pm, Kennebunk, ME

For details, please check out the schedule page on my website: http://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule