Just Ask Ida

Eighty's just a number

Last week, we celebrated my dad’s birthday with a nice dinner at my sister Irene’s place. He turned 80, and it was a hard one for him. More than once he told Irene and me, “Listen, I don’t want a party, so don’t go plannin’ nothin’. I’m serious. Don’t make a big deal out of this thing. I’d just as soon forget about it.” Irene and me took him at his word, but we weren’t just gonna do nothin’. We kept it low key, you know? Just family.

Dad’s livin’ down to Mahoosuc Green, the senior livin’ facility here in town. He bought in a few years after our mother passed away. Has a cute little apartment Irene and me helped him decorate. Talk about a social life! Dad’s puts mine to shame. He’s always off bowling during the winter, golfin’ come summer. And what with dancing down to the Eagles club once or twice a week and playing cards at the VFW, he barely has time to get a hair cut.

Or go see “the kid.” That’s what he calls his doctor. The guy’s probably older than I am, and Dad’s been goin’ to him for twenty-five years. But, he took over from Dr. Smith, so he’ll always be “the kid” to Dad. Irene and me have taken to calling him “the kid,” too, because at this point, we can’t remember what his real name is. “Hey Dad,” we’ll ask, “how’d you make out with the kid?”

Oh, and Dad’s datin’ a nice gal he met down to the Eagles. They’ve been together for a few years now, and it seems to be workin’ for him. Irene and me are glad he has a companion to do things with. Plus, it’s not as stressful as being a free agent in a sellers market. ‘Cause Dad’s a catch. Good lookin’, nice head of hair, and he still drives at night! Those widows down to Mahoosuc Green were swarming ‘round him like files to honey.

“Dad,” I says, “you play you’re cards right you could have a different casserole every night of the week, if you know what I’m saying.”

“Ida, I think that many casseroles on a regular basis would kill me.”

“Wouldn’t be a bad way to go, though, you got to admit.”

Last Christmas, Dad told us once he turned eighty, he was gonna resign from all the committees he’s on. Right now, he’s serves on the Public Safety Committee (interviewin’ potential policemen), the parish council down to St. Hyacinth’s and who know what else.

Irene goes. “Dad, I thought you liked doing those things.”

“I’ve always said, when people turn eighty, they got no business bein’ on committees. So, I’m followin’ my own advice.”

He seemed pretty definite about it, so neither one of us tried to convince him otherwise. Heck, I thought, maybe he wants more time with his lady friend.

But you know what? Dad’s still goin’ to them of Public Safety Committee meetings.

I says to him, “I thought you were all done with that.”

“Well, honey, I pondered it, and decided I still like doin’ it, so what the heck.”

“Good for you, Dad. You’ll know when it’s time. 80’s just a number, right?”

“Yup. Did I tell you I don’t want you two makin’ a big deal out of my birthday, OK? I don’t want a party or nothin’.”

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

 

IDA'S PODCAST: 80's Just a Number

Comin’ up this spring:

April 11: Reading-Auburn Public Library, 6:00pm
April 12: Reading-Cancer Community Center, 6:00pm, South Portland, ME
April 16: Reading-Bangor Public Library, 2:00pm
April 16: Reading-Dirigo Pines, 7:15pm, Orono, ME
May 4: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You! to benefit the Friends of the South Berwick Library, 7:30pm, South Berwick, ME
May 9: Author Visit, Forest Hills Elementary, Jackman, ME
May 16: Reading, Walker Memorial Library, 7:00pm, Westbrook, ME

For more information on upcoming appearances, visit my website: idaswebsite.com

If you’d like me to do a reading at your library, organization or what not, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line: [email protected]

And if your book group wants to read Finding Your Inner Moose, I’d love to be part of the discussion. Especially if food’s involved!

Just Plain Stubborn

A few weeks ago, I had one of those wicked stomach bugs that have been goin’ around. Who knows where I got it. Maybe the A&P? Oh, my God! I can’t remember the last time I was so sick! The entire day, I literally could not raise my head off the pillow. I mean, I had to barf into a bowl by the bed, that’s how sick I was. Upchuckin’ on and off from 4:30 in the mornin’ to 11:00 at night! And you know, how when you’re sick and you throw up, you usually feel a little better for a while after? Not with this puppy. No way. Charlie was getting’ concerned, and little Scamp never left my side the whole day.


“It’s nothin’, Charlie,” I mumbled. “Just a 24-hour bug.”

“Right,” he says. “Well, I’m sleepin in the Barcalounger.”

I was so convince it was one of them 24-hour things, I got up the next morning, stripped the bed and washed the sheets (even though I had to keep laying down every few minutes because I thought I was goin’ to be sick). I forced myself to eat something, oatmeal, in this case. Couldn’t finish it. I didn’t feel good enough to go to work, but I sat at the computer for a couple of hours starin’ at the screen, pretendin’ I was doing stuff.

See, that’s the thing. After all these years, I still think that through shear stubbornness and strength of will, I can make myself better. There are times, of course, when being stubborn is a good thing (though Charlie might not agree). Stubbornness has gotten me through many a hard time, helped me tough it out ‘til I was over the hump, stopped me from givin’ up, kept me moving forward.

But in this case, my stubborn belief that I could make myself better by pretendin’ I was better did nothin’ more than land me back in bed with a fever by the end of day two.

“I’ll be in the Barcalouger if you need me.”

After eleven hours sleep, I woke up feelin’ drained, but determined to do what I needed to do to get better. I looked up “how to recover from a stomach bug” on the internet, and stubbornly set about following the instructions.

“Be gentle with yourself,” said one article. Wait a minute! Wasn’t that my Livin’ the Good Life habit for January? One of the things I was goin’ to work on? Apparently, I’m a remedial learner. But thank goodness, life has a way of presentin’ me opportunities to practice, practice, practice! “Don’t force yourself to eat,” another site said. “Your body has been through a traumatic experience. It needs time to rest and recover. When you reintroduce food, start with a bland diet: saltines, plain toast, bananas, broth, rice, potatoes. No caffeine, dairy or fat. Soda with bubbles is also good, and you should replace your electrolytes with Gatorade or something similar.” So, basically, I was doin’ everything wrong the day before.

Well, I followed their instructions to the letter, except for abstainin’ from caffeine, of course. Who are they kiddin’? A caffeine withdrawal headache on top of nausea was too much to bear. So, I ate this way for a day, didn’t force myself to do anything except rest, and guess what? I felt remarkably better. So I stubbornly did it another day, just to make sure.

Along the way, I rediscovered a treat we used to have as kids, when our mom cooked rice for supper (not brown rice, you understand: good ol’ Minute Rice). For dessert, we’d have cold rice with maple syrup poured on top. I’ll be darned! I hadn’t had that in years, but it tasted wicked good!

It’s been a few weeks, now, and I’m still baskin’ in the glow of feelin’ better. Charlie’s moved back into the bedroom and I’m really appreciating how good I usually feel, how much energy I have and how delicious food tastes. I’ve given up the Minute Rice, but not the maple syrup (never the maple syrup). And I’m stubbornly determined to not only use my stubbornness for good, but to be kind to myself when I mess up. Oh, and I’ve tucked away the left over bottles of Gatorade for when I have my colonoscopy this fall. Ain’t life grand?

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

 

IDA'S PODCAST: Just Plain Stubborn

Comin’ up this spring:
April 11: Reading-Auburn Public Library, 6:00pm
April 12: Reading-Cancer Community Center, 6:00pm South Portland, ME
April 16: Reading-Bangor Public Library, 2:00pm
April 16: Reading-Dirigo Pines, 7:15pm, Orono, ME
May 4: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You! to benefit the Friends of the South Berwick Library, 7:30pm, South Berwick, ME
May 9: Author Visit, Forest Hills Elementary, Jackman, ME
May 16: Reading, Walker Memorial Library, 7:00pm, Westbrook, ME

For more information on upcoming appearances, visit my website: idaswebsite.com

If you’d like me to do a reading at your library, organization or what not, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line:
[email protected]

And if your book group wants to read Finding Your Inner Moose, I’d love to be part of the discussion. Especially if food’s involved!

 

The Big Boy’s Birthday

Big day today: Charlie’s birthday. Me, I always try to take my birthday off from work, but Charlie doesn’t.

“Ida,” he says, “after a certain age, it’s just another day. I don’t want to think about it.”

My feelin’ is, a birthday is cause for celebration, especially after a certain age. I’m on the back nine, as my golfer friend Betty says. Meaning, I’ve lived more of my life than I have left. So I say make the most of it. Heck, why confine yourself to just one day? Celebrate the whole month!

Anyhoo, Charlie doesn’t make a big deal of his birthday. Still, I like to make it special. We get up earlier than usual, and I take the ol’ duffer out to breakfast down to the Busy Bee.

Charlie always orders their special breakfast sandwich, the Big Boy. Picture this: steak, bacon, sausage, ham and cheese between two pieces of French Toast, smeared with maple butter. Yikes! Charlie says he only orders it on special occasions, but I know for a fact that he and the boys are a little overly fond of the Big Boy. So much so, they have a nickname for it: “the Other Woman.” Why? Because “you have to sneak around to have it, and feel guilty after!”

I’m also gonna make Charlie one of his favorite dinners: corn chowder, meatloaf, mashed potatoes with plenty of butter, maple carrots, and for dessert, a bread pudding. Easy, peasy!

Charlie and me never go hog wild with presents. It just seems kinda silly. ‘Cause, you know, if we need somethin’ we buy it. Well, I do anyways. (Charlie’s not much of a shopper.)

So, I got him some new snowmobiling gloves. His were shot to hell, the stuffing comin’ out. Listen, when there’s more duct tape than glove, time to chuck ‘em.

I also got him a couple four-packs of new underwear. I know, romantic, huh? I think so, ‘cause let me tell you, there’s nothin’ romantic about prehistoric briefs, full of holes, stained. I mean, come on! I wouldn’t even use ‘em as dust rags!

Now, I hadn’t realized how bad the situation had gotten ‘cause I let Charlie put away his own clothes after I wash ‘em. He knows how he likes ‘em folded, where he wants ‘em. He’s supposed to be monitoring the situation.

But a while back, we had that big snow storm, remember? And it seemed to take Charlie forever to snowblow the driveway. A couple of hours later, he clomps back into the house. I’m makin’ him some hot cocoa, ‘cause that’s what you do when your husband’s been out snowblowin’. I says to him, “Is somethin’ wrong with the blower?”

“No, why?”

“Well, you kept stoppin’ and disappearin’ into the shed.”

“Naw,” he says. “It’s my underwear.”

“Your underwear?”

“Elastic’s shot. Had to keep goin’ in there to pull ‘em up.”

“Why didn’t you just come inside and change ‘em?”

“I was all dressed. Take too long.”

“Well, you must have had an inkling when you put ‘em on this morning.”

“Ya, but I was in a hurry to get out there. Besides, they’re all shot, so it’s slim pickins.”

“Why don’t you just buy some new underwear? I can’t believe you let yourself suffer like that.”

“Haven’t gotten around to it. But I got a birthday comin’ up. Maybe I’ll get my wife on it.”

Men! I swear, it’s a good thing they come with such handy accessories!

Well, I’m off to whip up some corn chowder before work. I don’t go in ‘till 11:00, so I thought I’d get started on that special dinner for my Big Boy.

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flipside!

 

IDA'S PODCAST: Big Boy's Birthday

Comin’ up this spring:
March 6: Reading -- Scarborough Public Library, 6:30 p.m.
March 8: Reading -- Woodfords Club, 7:00 p.m., Portland, ME
March 14: Reading -- Eliot Senior Citizens, 11:30 a.m., Eliot, ME
April 11: Reading -- Auburn Public Library, 6:00 p.m., Auburn, ME
April 12: Reading -- Cancer Community Center, 6:00 p.m., South Portland, ME
April 16: Reading -- Bangor Public Library, 2:00 p.m., Bangor, ME
April 16: Reading -- Dirigo Pines, 7:15 p.m., Orono, ME
May 4: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You! to benefit the Friends of the South Berwick Library, 7:30 p.m., South Berwick, ME
May 9: Author Visit, Forest Hills Elementary, Jackman, ME
May 16: Reading, Walker Memorial Library, 7:00 p.m., Westbrook, ME

For more information on upcoming appearances, visit my website: idaswebsite.com

If you’d like me to do a reading at your library, organization or what not, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line:
[email protected]
And if your book group wants to read Finding Your Inner Moose, I’d love to be part of the discussion. Especially if food’s involved!