Just Ask Ida

Snow day!

I love winter in Maine. I really do! Snowmobilin’ with my honey under clear blue skies, bean suppers down to the Congo church, yummy stews.

But I have to tell you, the one thing I don’t like about winter is getting all jazzed up about some event, really looking forward to it, outfit all thought out, then being crushed when a snow storm comes and ruins my plans. I mean it’s Maine, it’s winter! Snow’s normal. After all these years, you’d think I’d be better able to roll with it.

Yet, I can really get to obsessin’ about the weather, especially if there’s an event comin’ up. My computer and smart phone don’t help. Now I’m checkin’ the weather off and on all day startin’ a week out. OK, maybe I take a gander at the ten-day forecast, too. Why? Because I can. It’s as if the more I check the weather, the more control I somehow have over it. Like by sheer force of will, I can change that symbol from snow, sleet or freezin’ rain to partly cloudy or dare I hope, that little drawing of the sun, which will magically turn my frown upside down. I mean, come on! Who do I think I am?

When you’re a kid, of course, a snow storm is somethin’ all together different, right? It means a day off from school, snow angels, snow men, snow forts: fun! I still remember going to bed prayin’ to God there’d be no school tomorrow, and wakin’ up to find my prayers answered.

Hot dog! Break out the Michelin man snow suits, Flexible Flyers, and flying saucers. And after a long day of snowy rough and tumble, home to the smell of wet wool and hot chocolate. Off with the snow boots, on with the pichous (them cozy slippers with pompoms, knit by mémé).

When you’re a kid, a snow storm (especially on a school day), means all is right with the world. The triumph of fun over boredom. As an adult, it’s just something you have to deal with. It means getting out the snow blower and shovel (or in my case, watchin’ Charlie do that, God love ‘im). It’s worrying about how the roads are goin’ to be to and from work. Will you be able to get in the driveway when you get home, or will the mountain of snow left by the town plow be too big to scale?

Times like those, a snowstorm feels like the universe is out to get me. When I’m checkin’ the weather for the umpteenth time that day, studyin’ the hour-by-hour forecast and seeing that the storm will be at its peak just when that party was supposed to start. When I have a special outing planned (has been for several weeks) on the only stormy day in a week of smiling sunshine.

I have to remind myself to breath, to sit back and reconnect with my intention for this month, the one I told you about three weeks ago. The one I seemed to have lost sight of. My January intention was to be kind to myself, and this kind of great expectation and twisted thinkin’ just isn’t stickin’ with the program.

So, I’m reachin’ back into my childhood to see if I can borrow that spark of excitement for upcoming snow storms. The party will be rescheduled. Our shoppin’ trip can be, too. How about goin’ with the flow, Ida? Turnin’ that unexpected night at home into a special, hunker down with my honey in the Barcalounger love seat with some baked beans and homemade biscuits, watchin’ a movie, kind of evenin’. Maybe it’s the universe conspirin’ to help me slow down and smell the hot chocolate. Maybe that’s what winter’s all about, anyways.

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

IDA'S PODCAST: Snow Day!

It’s not too late to start an "Unloose Your Inner Moose" Book Group
Twelve Chapters--twelve months--lots of fun and easy tips for "Livin' the Good Life". Just try one thing from one chapter a month, and by the end of the year, you'll be surprised at how your good life has gotten even better. Do it yourself, with a buddy, or with a group.

Invite Susan/Ida to do a reading or perform for your group or organization. You’ll have a wicked good time: guaranteed. In the words of one concerned audience member, “You really should have “Depends” by the door for some of us!”

Drop us a line. We’d love to hear from you!
E-mail: [email protected]

Buggah!

It’s that yucky cold and flu season, and if you haven’t noticed, there’s a bunch of wicked nasty, kick-your-butt, creepin’ crud goin’ around. Ah-choo!! Even folks who got their flu shot are getting the flu (what’s up with that?), and a three-day cold is just a fond memory. Now you’re down for a week, with maybe another week of snot, coughs and feelin’ come 8:30 in the evenin’ like you just got hit by a Mac truck.

So far, Charlie and me have faired pretty well. I’m guessin’ maybe my immune system has been toughened up by all those years of cashierin’ down to the A&P. Years of greetin’ someone with a big hug or handshake, only to have ‘em tell me they’re sick as a dog. And I want to say, “What the heck? Why aren’t you home in bed instead of spreadin’ your germs all over town? And why the hell did you let me hug you?” But of course, I don’t. Best I can do is run off to the employee’s bathroom to wash my hands and pray to God I don’t catch whatever cooties they felt so compelled to share with me. Am I the only one this happens to?

Charlie felt like he was comin’ down with it a few weeks ago, but happily for him, it didn’t stick. Just a few days of me greetin’ him with “Hail, Snot-i-cus” and he was done.

‘Bout three weeks ago, right on the heels of the holidays, actually, I realized that some kind of bug had gotten into my chest. No head cold or nothin’, just not feelin’ quite right when I breathed, followed by this friggin’ cough that won’t go away. A cough that leaves me alone all day, fakin’ me out, thinkin’ it’s gone, then it shows up just before I head off to bed in time to torment me (and Charlie) the whole night through. Buggah!

Charlie’s keepin’ a blanket in the den just to be safe, and has left our bed to sleep in the Barcalounger more than once the last few nights. Leavin’ me all to my lonesome, ‘cept for Scamp, who wouldn’t dream of abandoning me, cough or no cough. Would you, Scamp? No, you wouldn’t!

Odd thing is, once Charlie leaves the bedroom, my coughin’ gets better. Nothin’ to do with Charlie. It just seems like tryin’ not to cough makes me cough more. And once I can cough without the guilt of wakin’ him up, it eases up some. I don’t get it. ‘Less of course it is Charlie, and I just sleep better without the ol’ duffer thrashin’ around and snorin’ beside me. Who knows?

Let’s just say so far, 2013 has been a little light in the snugglin’ up to my sweetie department, Charlie bein’ “nice” to me and all that, if you get what I’m sayin’. Sigh…

But, I do feel better every day. That Prednisone the doctor put me on has something to do with it, sure. But so does the way the snow looks with the sun shinin’ on it and the fact that the days are gettin’ longer. Seein’ them brightly colored primroses that always arrive this time of year down to the A&P, that perks me up. And the hope that maybe tonight is the night my cough calls it quits, and Scamp, Charlie and me get down to the important business of a good night's sleep. ‘Cept of course for the usual nocturnal migrations to the john. But that I can live with.

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

IDA'S PODCAST: Buggah!

Check out my new video filmed in front of a live audience last summer: 
http://youtu.be/38qTwz9I-vs

Coming up this week:

January 23
Book Reading
Patten Free Library
6:30 p.m.
207-443-5141
http://www.patten.lib.me.us/index.html
Bath, Maine
(snow date January 30)

Next month:

February 15-17
I Married an Alien!
Garrison Players
Friday & Saturday @ 8:00 p.m.
Sunday @ 3:00 p.m.
603-750-4278
http://www.garrisonplayers.org/events.php
Rollinsford, NH

If you’d like me to do a reading at your library, organization or what not, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line:
[email protected]

And if your book group wants to read Finding Your Inner Moose, I’d love to be part of the discussion. Especially if food’s involved!

They Don’t Call it “Les Misérables” for Nothin’!

On Saturday, Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot, Shirley and me (a.k.a. the Women Who Run With the Moose) went to see that new movie, “Les Misérables.” And you know what? They don’t call it that for nothin’!

I confess, it was my bright idea. I says to the girls, “Hey, it’s a musical with a high hunk factor! I mean, Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe! How bad could it be?”

Well, turns out, pretty bad. Let’s start with the fact that it’s a poor personal hygiene movie. There should be a ratin’ for that. To heck with the G, PG13, R stuff. Give me at least some hint that everyone in the movie is gonna look like they smell bad. That the houses are gonna look like they smell bad. That there’s gonna be a whole scene where Hugh Jackman carries a guy through the sewer. It’s a good thing I had that movie-sized box of Junior Mints to calm down my tummy, ‘cause let me tell you, I was gettin’ a little queasy.

OK, so the hunkiness is pretty much down to zero without the aid of a bath, a tooth brush, some mouthwash and deodorant. Then you add questionable facial hair and more than one bad hairdo (Hugh sports three, at least), and we’re talkin’ a hunk factor of minus ten!

And the whole movie is murky. Brown and dark, even when it’s daytime. Why? ‘Cause it’s usually rainin’. The brightest thing is Anne Hathaway’s skin. That is, before she sells her hair and her back teeth, and then becomes a prostitute. I kept wondering, why would you do it in that order? I mean, if she was gonna become a prostitute anyway, why not try to look her best, so she could make a little more money? Didn’t make sense to me.

But I have to say, in a movie where everyone is singin’ and cryin’ and dyin’ (all at the same time), Anne knocks it outta the park with her big number. Even Shirley woke up for that one.

I guess we should have studied up on the plot. But shouldn’t you be able to get it from the movie itself? So, from what I can tell, it takes place in France after the Revolution, but I guess that didn’t solve anything. The people are still poor. They still don’t have enough to eat. So what do they do? They bust up their furniture and make a barricade. You’d think they’d just storm a bakery and a butcher shop, but I guess they’re too afraid to do that, ‘cause stealin’ a loaf of bread is about the worst thing you can do. Hugh Jackman learns this the hard way, and Russell Crowe won’t let him forget it. With all this life and death stuff goin’ on, the young folk do what they do best: fallin’ in love at first sight, or fallin’ in love with love or in love with the revolution, you name it. And boy, do they sing, swoon and cry up a storm. For almost three hours!

OK, spoiler alert. (Don’t say I didn’t warn you.) To be honest, it was kind of a relief when Russell Crowe kills himself after singin’ a long song while walkin’ on top of a dam. Frankly, a short suicide note would have done the trick. And it was more than a little surprising when Hugh Jackman died in a convent, but kept on singin’ and cryin’ anyway with Anne Hathaway, who I thought was dead. I don’t know.

Frankly, me and the girls were happy to get out of the theater and into a clear, crisp winter day. It may have been only 15 degrees, but the sun was shinin’ and we were back in Maine, the way life should be. Throw in some attitude adjustment over to Bugaboo Creek (Moose Juice and an onion blossom, anyone?) and off we went back to good ol’ Mahoosuc Mills, where people hardly ever sing and cry and die (at the same time, anyway). Hey, we even made up our own little ditty on the way home:
    In “Les Misérables,” everyone stunk
    Singin’ and cryin’ and dyin’, kerplunk!

What a great bunch of gals!

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

IDA'S PODCAST: Les Misérables

Start an "Unloose Your Inner Moose" Book Group

Twelve Chapters-twelve months-lots of fun and easy tips for "Livin' the Good Life". Just try one thing from one chapter a month, and by the end of the year, you'll be surprised at how your good life has gotten even better. Do it yourself, with a buddy or with a group.

Upcoming Book Events and Performances:

January 16
Book Reading
Portsmouth Public Library
7:00 p.m.
FMI: 603-427-1540
http://www.cityofportsmouth.com/library/
Portsmouth, NH
(snow date January 22)

January 23
Book Reading
Patten Free Library
6:30 p.m.
FMI: 207-443-5141
http://www.patten.lib.me.us/index.html
Bath, Me
(snow date January 30)

February 15-17
I Married an Alien!
Garrison Players
Friday & Saturday @ 8:00 p.m.
Sunday @ 3:00 p.m.
FMI: 603-750-4278
http://www.garrisonplayers.org/events.php
Rollinsford, NH

If you’d like me to do a reading at your library, organization or what not, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line:
[email protected]
And if your book group wants to read Finding Your Inner Moose, I’d love to be part of the discussion. Especially if food’s involved!