In the “Smart-aleck Yankee Response” category:
The city slicker says to the local, “I’m trying to get to Manchester.”
The local says, “I’ve no objection.”
In the “This hits close to home” department:
The family debated the cost for the replacement of the roof on the barn at the former egg farm. Grown sisters and brothers bickered over what do to and who should pay. Finally, Old Bill, the patriarch, settles the debate: “No sense having a roof over an empty barn.”
Finally, kids say the funniest things:
When Angela was pregnant, her six-year-old stepson was curious about the process. One evening, they were eating pizza. The little boy asked how the baby got food. Angela explained that the baby got food through the mama.
“Oh”, the boy said. “I hope you’re taking small bites.”