Wow! I just ate an entire bag of sugar snap peas! That’s just not natural. But, they kinda taste like summer, don’t they? Crisp and green and a little grassy, and that’s what I’m craving right about now. Man, this winter is really screwing with my head!
I’m as sick of writing about the weather as I am of the weather, so no four letter words in this blog, OK? No s**w, no c**d. That’s it. Put a fork in me. I’m done!
And no mention of Xmas wreaths still witherin’ away on neighbor’s houses. Well, maybe just one. Walking Scamp this morning, I passed a house that not only still had a Christmas wreath on their side door, but a Valentine's Day heart-shaped thingy on the front and some shamrocks taped to the window! I’m thinking, What is it with these people? Scamp’s reaction? She took a poop on their lawn. I’m not proud of this, but I have to tell you, I was tempted to leave it there instead of bagging it. Make a statement, you know? I say, take it all down, and if you have a burning need to decorate, slap up some Easter eggs, maybe a bunny or two and call it good.
On the plus side, I am enjoying more light in the evening. That’s good. But it’s darker in the morning when I get up. Not so good. That “spring forward” is a tough one, isn’t it? I tried being a good girl and going to bed at 10:30 p.m., but then I lie awake ‘til 11:30 p.m., quarter to twelve, staring at the ceiling, listening to Charlie snore. And this is not a delicate purring. No way! Think semi-truck with a cracked muffler! ‘Course he up at 6:00 a.m., no problem. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, it can’t be morning. It’s pitch black out there! After a couple days of that, I was exhausted enough for my system to adjust to the time change. Thank God for small miracles!
On our afternoon walk last weekend, I thought I was hallucinating when I inhaled the delicious smell of meat grilling on the Weber. Oh, God, that smell was intoxicating! It was our neighbors down the street, the Marshall’s, pretending like they were having a backyard barbecue. Even though it was only 25˚ out. Who could you blame ‘em? Everyone’s sick of winter. Made me want to haul our grill out, fire her up. But then it would be too painful to have to drag it back into the shed again, and bury it behind the snow blower.
Even my trusty Crock-Pot is losing its charm. I mean, there’s only so much comfort food my jeans can take before they scream uncle. These are my fat jeans, I’m talking about! And I am determined not to buy a bigger size. No way! No how!
On the bright side, the Women Who Run With the Moose have a field trip to Bangor planned for next Saturday. Yay! In the morning, we’re going to indulge in a little retail therapy down at the mall. Then lunch, and off to the New You Spa for some hydrating facials, ‘cause our skin is beyond dry. We couldn’t do the facials in the morning, ‘cause they wreck havoc with your hair. Imagine six middle-aged women hunting for bargains, sporting no makeup and Phyllis Diller hair. That’s enough to send any child screaming!
More good news: even though it doesn’t feel like it, friends, winter will end. It has to end. Soon enough, we’ll be complaining about mud season, then all the rain, the heat, the bugs, the tourists and, God willing, the holidays again. Until then, take two pints of Ben and Jerry’s and call me in the morning!
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
March 19 Book Reading, Stockton Springs Community Library, 6:30 p.m., Stockton Springs, ME
Upcoming Shows and Book Events: Spring(ish)
March 28 & 30 The Best of Ida, The Footlights, Friday at 7:30 p.m., Sunday at 2:00 p.m.
April 21 A Visit With Ida, Huntington Common, 2:00 p.m., Kennebunk, ME
May 3 New Keynote Speech, Alpha Beta State Conference, 1:30 p.m., Bowie, Maryland
May 19 Book Club Visit, 10:00 a.m., Portsmouth, NH
For details, please check out the schedule page on my website: http://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule