Things have slowed down to a crawl at the A&P. It’s not that we have less business or that us employees are losing our touch. No, it’s because of these mysterious “micro chips” embedded into your new credit and debit cards. The powers that be installed the card reader for ‘em last week, and like a lot of things that are supposed to make life easier, it’s turned out to be a real pain in the patooti.
Why? Well, if you’ve tried one, you know. First off, if you insert the card too early, we have to start again. If you insert the card too late, we have to start again. If you take it out too soon, we have to start again. Or you thought you had a chip on your card, but, darn, that must be the other card you have in your wallet. So then, we have to start again and you need to swipe it, not put it into the slot. Or put it back in your wallet and fish around for the one that does have the chip.
I used to have pleasant conversations with my customers. It’s one of the main things I like about my job. Now, folks are so nervous about doing the chip thing right, the transaction takes all their concentration. So, it’s just me ringing them out, and them staring at the card reader, waiting for it to bark orders.
“Insert card. Insert card. Do not remove card. Do not remove card. Do not remove card.” Then all of a sudden, an alarm goes off, like a submarine warning, “Dive, Dive. Remove card. Remove card. Remove card.” It’s wicked stressful!
And you know what? Even if you do it right, it still takes almost twice as long as it used to. So bottom line, the micro chips are doing what they’re supposed to do. They are improving credit card security. How do I know? Because more people are opting for cash. Seriously, folks are coming into the A&P with little, white bank envelopes loaded with actual money. Talk about flash back to a bye gone era. What’s next, Green Stamps?
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Upcoming Book Events and Performances
July 10: Cold River Radio Show live taping, Theater in the Wood, https://www.coldriverradio.com/ 7:00pm, Intervale, NH
July 12: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Bridgeton Public Library, https://bridgtonlibrary.org/, time TBA, Bridgeton, ME
July 24: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Casco Public Library, https://www.casco.lib.me.us/, 3:00pm, Casco, ME
August 4: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Albert Church Brown Memorial Library, https://www.acbrown.lib.me.us/ 7:00pm, China, ME
August 5: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Stockton Springs Community Library, https://www.stocktonspringslibrary.org/, 6:00pm, Stockton Springs ME
August 11: The View From He’ah Variety Show, https://actonenh.org/ 2:00 & 7:30pm, Portsmouth, NH
August 30: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Rangeley Public Library, https://www.rangeleylibrary.com/default.asp?Key=1&Cat=1 6:00pm, Rangeley, ME