Big day today: Charlie’s birthday. Me, I always try to take my birthday off from work, but Charlie doesn’t.
“Ida,” he says, “after a certain age, it’s just another day. I don’t want to think about it.”
My feelin’ is, a birthday is cause for celebration, especially after a certain age. I’m on the back nine, as my golfer friend Betty says. Meaning, I’ve lived more of my life than I have left. So I say make the most of it. Heck, why confine yourself to just one day? Celebrate the whole month!
Anyhoo, Charlie doesn’t make a big deal of his birthday. Still, I like to make it special. We get up earlier than usual, and I take the ol’ duffer out to breakfast down to the Busy Bee.
Charlie always orders their special breakfast sandwich, the Big Boy. Picture this: steak, bacon, sausage, ham and cheese between two pieces of French Toast, smeared with maple butter. Yikes! Charlie says he only orders it on special occasions, but I know for a fact that he and the boys are a little overly fond of the Big Boy. So much so, they have a nickname for it: “the Other Woman.” Why? Because “you have to sneak around to have it, and feel guilty after!”
I’m also gonna make Charlie one of his favorite dinners: corn chowder, meatloaf, mashed potatoes with plenty of butter, maple carrots, and for dessert, a bread pudding. Easy, peasy!
Charlie and me never go hog wild with presents. It just seems kinda silly. ‘Cause, you know, if we need somethin’ we buy it. Well, I do anyways. (Charlie’s not much of a shopper.)
So, I got him some new snowmobiling gloves. His were shot to hell, the stuffing comin’ out. Listen, when there’s more duct tape than glove, time to chuck ‘em.
I also got him a couple four-packs of new underwear. I know, romantic, huh? I think so, ‘cause let me tell you, there’s nothin’ romantic about prehistoric briefs, full of holes, stained. I mean, come on! I wouldn’t even use ‘em as dust rags!
Now, I hadn’t realized how bad the situation had gotten ‘cause I let Charlie put away his own clothes after I wash ‘em. He knows how he likes ‘em folded, where he wants ‘em. He’s supposed to be monitoring the situation.
But a while back, we had that big snow storm, remember? And it seemed to take Charlie forever to snowblow the driveway. A couple of hours later, he clomps back into the house. I’m makin’ him some hot cocoa, ‘cause that’s what you do when your husband’s been out snowblowin’. I says to him, “Is somethin’ wrong with the blower?”
“Well, you kept stoppin’ and disappearin’ into the shed.”
“Naw,” he says. “It’s my underwear.”
“Elastic’s shot. Had to keep goin’ in there to pull ‘em up.”
“Why didn’t you just come inside and change ‘em?”
“I was all dressed. Take too long.”
“Well, you must have had an inkling when you put ‘em on this morning.”
“Ya, but I was in a hurry to get out there. Besides, they’re all shot, so it’s slim pickins.”
“Why don’t you just buy some new underwear? I can’t believe you let yourself suffer like that.”
“Haven’t gotten around to it. But I got a birthday comin’ up. Maybe I’ll get my wife on it.”
Men! I swear, it’s a good thing they come with such handy accessories!
Well, I’m off to whip up some corn chowder before work. I don’t go in ‘till 11:00, so I thought I’d get started on that special dinner for my Big Boy.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flipside!
Comin’ up this spring:
March 6: Reading -- Scarborough Public Library, 6:30 p.m.
March 8: Reading -- Woodfords Club, 7:00 p.m., Portland, ME
March 14: Reading -- Eliot Senior Citizens, 11:30 a.m., Eliot, ME
April 11: Reading -- Auburn Public Library, 6:00 p.m., Auburn, ME
April 12: Reading -- Cancer Community Center, 6:00 p.m., South Portland, ME
April 16: Reading -- Bangor Public Library, 2:00 p.m., Bangor, ME
April 16: Reading -- Dirigo Pines, 7:15 p.m., Orono, ME
May 4: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You! to benefit the Friends of the South Berwick Library, 7:30 p.m., South Berwick, ME
May 9: Author Visit, Forest Hills Elementary, Jackman, ME
May 16: Reading, Walker Memorial Library, 7:00 p.m., Westbrook, ME
For more information on upcoming appearances, visit my website: idaswebsite.com
If you’d like me to do a reading at your library, organization or what not, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line:
And if your book group wants to read Finding Your Inner Moose, I’d love to be part of the discussion. Especially if food’s involved!