I run into Bucky Dumont down to the A&P on Friday. He’s the fella with the horses who gives sleigh rides during our Down Home Holiday Festival. I was doing a little shopping after work, and he was “picking up a few things for the Mrs.” Sure enough, there in his shopping cart were milk, sugar, and a dozen eggs.
“How ‘bout that case of Pabst, Bucky. She ask you to pick that up?”
“Nope. Them’s what I call my “office supplies!”
I’ve seen Bucky’s “office.” It’s that shed off the barn where he fixes his farm equipment and maintains the horse tack. Oh, he’s got it all decked out: ole pot bellied stove, TV, mini fridge, box of cigars, a beat up old Barcalounger and a rockin’ chair or two. You know, for his buddies, when they drop over for a “board meeting.” Heck, it’s February. Their wives are probably sick of ‘em, and there’s nothin’ else goin’ on!
I notice Bucky has on a pair of decent looking black boots. Bought me up short, ‘cause usually he’s in these totally old beat up old clod hoppers.
“Gee, Bucky, look at those swanky boots! Aren’t those sharp?”
“Got ‘em down to Mardens. Been tryin’ to break ‘em in, but they still smell like old tires.”
“I hear you, Bucky. I once got a faux leather jacket down to Reny’s that smelled like that. Seemed like a good deal at the time.” It was kind of cute, too, if you discounted the odor.
There are some things you can buy cheap, like plastic cups for the deck, and some things you shouldn’t, like smoke alarms for your house.
Listen, I’m all for them BOGO sales down to Payless, but I’m not about to buy my work shoes there. I’m on my feet thirty hours a week, behind the check out counter, where nobody can see what I’m wearin’. So, I’m goin’ for comfort, not looks. But sure, if I see a cute little pair of summer sandals at Payless with polka dots or bows, I’m getting ‘em. I know they’ll last only one season, if I’m lucky, and, as my sister Irene says, "I don’t step in a mud puddle!”
General rule of thumb? Put your money into staples. You know, your winter coat and boots, a good bra, moisturizers and liquid foundation with all the bells and whistles, under eye concealer (real important), a good piece of meat for dinner, and fresh herbs and spices. Then save money on the flash: scarf, hat, a fun top, lipstick, blush and eye shadow. Don’t skimp on toilet paper, though!
Pet peeve side bar: went to pick up my liquid foundation down to the Estee Lauder counter on Saturday, and not only do they no longer carry my color, they discontinued the foundation! The one I’ve been using for years! But I ended up getting one with great coverage, plus it firms and lifts. Can’t underestimate the power of those kind of benefits after a certain age. Once I got over the trauma, I realized it had been time for a change, and I’m lovin’ this new stuff. Imagine that!
Anyways, back at the A&P, Bucky goes his way, and I go mine. That’s when I become aware of this weird squeaking sound. I’m lookin’ all ‘round. Where’s it coming from? About five minutes later, I hear it again. Just then, Bucky turns to the corner and heads down the aisle toward me. I realize the sound is coming from his direction. At first I thought it was his shopping cart. You know how that is when you grab a gimpy cart? But no, it’s Bucky’s new boots. So not only do his boots smell like old tires, they squeak like all get out when he walks!
“Hello again, Bucky!” I says, eyeing his shopping car, now plum chucka full of corn chips, pork rinds, Slim Jims and a huge box of day old donuts. “Looks like you got quite a board meeting coming up!”
“Yup,” he chuckles. “Solvin’ the problems of the world, one beer at a time. It’s hard work, but someone’s gotta do it.”
And off he goes, squeak, squeak, squeak. I’m thinking Bucky’s not much of a bargain shopper. Though the “Mrs” probably doesn’t mind, ‘cause she can hear him coming a mile away!
That's it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
February 25 Book Reading, West Buxton Public Library, 6:00 p.m., West Buxton, ME
Upcoming Shows and Book Events:
March 4 Book Reading, D.A. Hurd Library, 6:30 p.m., North Berwick, ME
March 19 Book Reading, Stockton Springs Community Library, 6:30 p.m., Stockton Springs, ME
March 28 & 30 The Best of Ida, The Footlights, Friday at 7:30 p.m., Sunday at 2:00 p.m.
For details, please check out the schedule page on my website: http://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule