In the next few blogs, I’ll be featuring excerpts from my new book, The Sweet Life: Ida LeClair’s Guide to Love and Marriage which comes out May 19th. Here’s a little something from the third chapter called, “There is no ‘I’ in Team, but Maybe There Should Be.”
Good friendships are an important part of my personal happiness. Yes, Charlie and me are best friends, but I have other best friends, too. I just think it’s unfair to you and your mate to expect them to be your everything. That’s a lot of pressure. Besides, sometimes you just need to talk about your mate with someone to, you know, blow off some steam. Friends are a pressure valve. They help keep things on an even keel.
Spending time with the Women Who Run with the Moose makes me happy, and I bring that joy back to my relationship. We have a girls' night out once a week. Been doin’ this for years. Sometimes we’ll go shopping in Bangor or take a class, like Zumba, or do some scrapbooking or it could be just going out to eat.
Like a few weeks back, Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot, Shirley and me buzz over to the all-you-can-eat-buffet down to the Hukilau Polynesian Restaurant, out on the edge of town. We love going there, so we were really looking forward to it.
We ordered our usual: a couple of pu pu platters, then on to the buffet for egg rolls, fried rice, low mien, some kind of meat on sticks (we didn't ask any questions). The girls split a couple of Scorpion bowls. I was the DD (designated driver), so I was nursing a wine spritzer.
Now, have you ever had one of them Scorpion Bowls? It’s this ginormous drink, comes in a big, honkin’ bowl with fire floating in the middle, little paper umbrellas all around. I have no idea what's in it, but, Jeesum Crow, it packs a punch!
Since the last time we’d been there, the owners had been busy putting signs up everywhere: when you come in, by the register, in the dining room, over the sink in the bathroom, in the stalls, everywhere. “Scorpion Bowls are not souvenirs. Anyone caught taking one will be prosecuted.” Clearly the Hukilau was havin’ a problem.
We made short work of the pu pu platters and were chomping our way through the buffet, when Betty asks, “So how many Scorpion Bowls do you have to drink before you start thinking about taking one home?”
“Beats me,” replies Dottie, “but we’re on our way to finding out!”
Always the practical one, Shirley chimes in, “Okay, say you wanted to take one. How would you smuggle it out?”
“Geesh,” I says. “You’d need a pretty big purse.”
Betty adds, “Well, you could pretend you were pregnant. Though it’s not really the right shape, is it?”
“Yeah,” I says, “you’d have to hold it, like the baby was on its way. It’d be tricky.”
Celeste goes, “Still, some folks must have figured it out. I mean, by the number of signs, the Hukilau is in the middle of an epidemic.”
Rita pipes up, “You gotta admit, though, having your own Scorpion Bowl at home would be kind of special, you know? You’d feel like, wow, ‘the world is my toaster’.”
We all stop, and look at her. Rita back-pedals. “What are you looking at? I’m not saying I’d take it!”
Shirley explains. “Rita, it’s not ‘toaster.’ It’s ‘oyster’. The world is your oyster’.”
Rita makes a face. “Oyster? That doesn’t make any sense. Why would you want the world to be your oyster? They’re all gooey and slimy.”
“Right,” Dottie agrees. “Like someone just hocked up a big….”
“Hey!” Shirley shouts. “I’m still eating, here!”
Rita looks positively flabbergasted. “Geesh, my whole life I thought it was, ‘The world is your toaster.’”
Betty says, “Sound more appealing, doesn’t it? A toaster takes something cold and makes it hot.”
“Nelson does the same thing to me,” adds Celeste, nodding over at the bartender, and we all burst out laughing. Nelson smiles in our direction and we wave.
Shirley goes, “I’m thinking about tryin’ to steal the Scorpion Bowl. See if he’ll frisk me!”
Nelson comes over to our table. “You ladies are having too much fun! Can I get you another round?”
“You kidding?” Betty says. “We’re halfway under the table as it is.”
God, we have a good time! We were still giggling when we climb into the car, each sportin’ a little umbrella in our hair.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
May 19: Book Launch & Potluck Supper: The Sweet Life: Ida LeClair’s Guide to Love and Marriage, John F. Hill Grange Hall, 6:00 to 8:30pm, Eliot, ME
Upcoming Book Events and Performances
May 24: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Patten Free Library, http://www.patten.lib.me.us/ 6:30pm, Bath, ME
May 28: Ida: Woman Who Runs With the Moose, The Castel on Charles http://www.castlenh.com/ 8:00pm, Rochester, NH
June 2: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Hubbard Free Library, http://www.hubbardfree.org/ 6:00pm, Hallowell, ME
June 25: The Best of Ida, Celebration Barn Theater, http://www.celebrationbarn.com/ 8:00pm, South Paris, ME