Last week, I come down with that pesky summer bug that’s been going around. Well, as a cashier down to the A&P, you run into all sorts of folks, some who really should have stayed in bed! So, off I trot to the Rite Aid to pick up some decongestant. On my way through the store to the pharmacy, a few things I didn’t know I needed mysteriously made their way into my basket ‘cause, well, it’s Rite Aid. There’s always stuff you need, right?
At the counter, I ask Carrie, the pharmacy assistant, for Advil® Cold and Sinus. You never used to have to do this, but apparently, given half a chance, folks will abuse just about anything. While she’s getting it, I take the things out of my basket for her to ring up: Tic Tacs®, a berry rich lipstick, dental floss, M&M’s® (purely for medicinal reasons, you understand), a package of multi-colored highlighters, extra large paper clips and three Wite-Out® correction tapes.
“Aren’t these great?”, Carrie says, pointing to the Wite-Out®.
“That they are,” I reply, as I sign for the Advil®, “In fact, to heck with the decongestant, you should make me sign for the Wite-Out®. I’m totally addicted!” And that’s about when it hit me.
My name is Ida, and I’m an office supplies addict: highlighters, Post-its®, paper clips, folders, organizing bins, free pens, notepads from hotel rooms, clip boards, Sharpies in all shapes and sizes, you name it. I’ve tried turning it over to a higher power, but that higher power is usually Staples, if you know what I’m saying.
To be honest, I’ve dabbled around with office supplies for years, and most of the time it’s manageable. Sure, I’ve been known to over highlight a book I’m reading or color code activities in my calendar. And I admit I did get a little crazy when the Post-it® flags and arrows come out. And, full disclosure, Charlie came close to staging an intervention when I got a labeling gun. After I labeled everything in the house, I started in on his workshop. Luckily, the gadget broke from overuse. I went cold turkey, and haven’t succumbed since, (though I’ve been tempted).
But this Wite-Out® correction tape is like crack cocaine, baby. It makes me feel invincible. Unlike that gloppy Wite-Out® Liquid, the correction tape is clean and neat. It fits my hand perfectly and even has a little groove for my thumb. I position the nose and press down firmly, like they say, moving the dispenser gently from left to right, and it works like magic! I lay down this beautiful line of glossy white tape where my boo-boo used to be. Folks, it doesn’t get much better than that!
The thing is, you never know when you’re going to need Wite-Out®, and it’s not always easy to find. So, if you’re out and about and you see some, grab it. I have a couple in my purse, my locker and my cash register at work, the car and just about every room at home. And, yes, there may be a drawer in my desk for my backup supply. I’m not hoarding though. Really. You just never know where and when you might need it, is all.
And here’s another thing, Wite-Out® correction tape is like dessert: I never share it. Even with Charlie. ‘Cause people are sneaky, and once they experience the joy of that glossy white line, it’s real easy for them to “forget” to give it back. And that kind of thing can really damage a friendship.
So now, I have three more correction tapes for my back up stash. I confess, I love opening the drawer slowly and just gazing at them, all those individual dispensers of glossy white tape, just waiting for the opportunity to make the messy things in my world neat. Now if only Wite-Out® could do something about my frigging stopped up nose!
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
July 8 Reading, Belgrade Public Library, 6:00 p.m., Belgrade, ME
Upcoming Shows & Book Events: Summer
July 14 Reading, Freeport Community Library, 7:00 p.m., Freeport, ME
July 22 Reading, Bailey Public Library, 6:30 p.m., Winthrop, ME
August 9 A Visit With Ida, Storytelling by the Sea, 7:15 p.m., Castine, ME
August 14 Ida’s Havin’ a Yard Sale, ACT ONE Festival 2014, 8:00 p.m., Portsmouth, NH
August 15 Ida’s Havin’ a Yard Sale, ACT ONE Festival 2014, 2:00 p.m., Portsmouth, NH
August 19 Reading, Southwest Harbor Public Library, 5:30 p.m., Southwest Harbor, ME
September 4 Ida’s Havin’ a Yard Sale, ACT ONE Festival 2014, 8:00 p.m. Portsmouth, NH
September 5 Ida’s Havin’ a Yard Sale, ACT ONE Festival 2014, 2:00 p.m. Portsmouth, NH