I found this old photo of me getting ready to celebrate my fourth birthday. Looks like quite a party, huh? There are little cartoon characters on the tablecloth and the ever popular pointy hats. And I’m dressed to the nines, of course. Some things never change.
I still like dressin’ up, but I’ve become more of a tiara and boa kind o’ gal. And I like celebratin’ my birthday the entire month of May. One day’s just not enough! Besides, I gotta pace myself.
Now me and my friends Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley (aka, the Women Who Run With the Moose) get together once a week for a little girlfriend time, that’s a given. But when it’s one of our birthdays, we try to do something special. The birthday gal gets to choose what. Lot’s of times it involves a field trip. But I don’t know, I found that old photo and told everybody what I really wanted was a good ol’ birthday party, just us gals.
“I’ll host,” Betty says, “but it’ll be more fun if we have a theme.”
“How about an Ensure tasting,” Shirley quips.
“What’s that?” Rita asks.
“Kind of like a wine tasting, only for the elderly!”
“You oughta know, Shirley,” I say. “Seein’ you’re three months older than me!”
Celeste chimes in, “How about a Botox party?”
“Walker and cane demonstration?” Dottie adds.
“We could chip in and buy Ida one of them walkers with the seat for when she gets tired,” Shirley says, cracking herself up. “Decorate it for her.”
“I’ll crochet a little bag to put on the front, for her to put stuff.”
“Streamers for the handlebars.”
“Very funny,” I manage to squeeze in, ‘cause those gals were on a roll. “Here’s what I’m thinking: a ‘Pamper Yourself Party.’”
Betty jumps in, “Oh, I like that! We could do mud masks, hand scrubs.”
“Foot soaks with scented bath salts!” Rita adds.
“OK, OK,” goes Shirley. “But let’s talk about the important stuff: food! What do you want to eat, Ida? And what kind of cake?”
“No cake, no entrees. I just want appetizers and desserts. And ice cream, gobs and gobs of ice cream.”
“And drinks,” Dottie says. “We’re gonna need libations, you know, to help us relax.”
“We’re on it, Ida. When?” Betty asks.
“Well,” I says, “it’ll have to be a Friday night, ‘cause all that pampering is bound to reek havoc with my hair. Patsy’ll put it to rights on Saturday morning.”
“It’s a plan!”
God, did we have a good time! And laugh? I nearly split a gut!
My niece Caitlin and her friend Ajiah from down to Mahoosuc Health Food are going for their reflexology certification. I don’t understand the whole thing. I guess different areas of your feet represent different areas of your body. Anyhoo, it’s kind of like a foot massage. The two of ‘em have to practice on a certain number of people in order to get their certification, so we invited ‘em over to work on us. And Caitlin and Ajiah were all over the aromatherapy thing, let me tell you. They had the diffuser going, and they were usin’ them essential oils on our feet. Was it ever heavenly!
At one point, Betty looks over at me and goes, “Can you imagine our husbands doin’ something like this?”
“Oh yeah,” I reply, “pounding down the Pabst Blue Ribbon and chompin’ on fried pork rinds while they give each other foot massages.”
That got everybody goin’.
Celeste found a recipe for a Skinny Martini, made with diet orange soda and orange flavored vodka. I know, it sounds kind of gross, but trust me on this, it tasted like a Creamsicle! We had hot crab dip, bacon-wrapped scallops and baked brie with nuts, apples and brown sugar. And the desserts? Oh, my God! But the sweetest thing was Rita made a special trip to that Sweet Dreams Bakery to get me a chocolate, caramel and sea salt tart. That’s number one on my list of positively erotic desserts! That’s dessert you fantasize about for weeks, maybe months after you eat it.
Needless to say, it was a fabulous party with the greatest group of gals! And get this: my birthday month is only half over!
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Coming Up This Week:
May 16: Book Reading, Walker Memorial Library, 7:00pm, Westbrook, ME
For more information on upcoming appearances, visit my website: idaswebsite.com
If you’d like me to do a reading at your library, organization or what not, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line: firstname.lastname@example.org
And if your book group wants to read Finding Your Inner Moose, I’d love to be part of the discussion. Especially if food’s involved.