There are times in a relationship where your spouse is on a need to know basis. Like when I get home from shopping on Black Friday, Charlie doesn’t need to know about every bargain I found (or all the money I spent). Charlie doesn’t need to know if my friend Dot is irritated with his friend Tommy or about that little dent in the bumper of my car.
I don’t need to know every time Charlie and the boys drop by the Busy Bee for a Big Boy Bacon Burger. You know, the one they call “the other woman” because it’s so good you need to sneak around to have it.
And I don’t need to know how Charlie is getting rid of the mice who invite themselves to dinner in our double wide this time of year. I mean I know, but I don’t want to see it. And before you start, we tried those little “Have a Heart” traps and they don’t work. Charlie calls them “mouse relocation devices” or “the boomerangs” because those little varmints return lickety-split with reinforcements.
Here’s Charlie’s latest:
When Critters Think to Move Indoors
November’s here, and all around
Leaves are gathering on the ground
Me, I think of all my chores
And field mice think to come indoors
Where, of course, it’s much less chillier
But don’t let them get too familiar
Moving in to set up shop
And prowl around your counter top
Bananas, we keep in a bowl
And though the mice don’t eat ‘em whole
We’ve lately spotted on their skin
These little nibbles where they’ve been
Ah, you may think, mice are fine
But that is where I draw the line
Be like all them Polyannas,
But don’t you mess with my bananas!
That mouse’ll show, I predict ‘er
Time to load my trusty Victor
Mousetrap with some peanut butter
"Chunky”, for my midnight strutter
It’s nothing that I like to do
But hey, it’s either me, or you
Blast the trumpets! Sound the gong!
This winter’s Mice Capades are on!
Guess what else has come inside
Our happy, little double wide?
Man, I swear, they’re everywhere,
And numb as slugs: stinkbugs!
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Upcoming Performances and Book Events 2018
March 10: Book Reading, South Portland Public Library, https://southportlandlibrary.com/ 2:00pm, South Portland, ME
March 27: A Visit With Ida, South Berwick Public Library https://www.southberwicklibrary.org/ 7:00pm, South Berwick, ME
April 10: Book Reading, Goodall Memorial Library, https://lbgoodall.org/#&panel1-1 6:30pm, Sanford, ME
May 1: Book Reading, Berwick Public Library, https://www.berwick.lib.me.us/ 6:00pm, Berwick, ME
Check out my full schedule here: https://www.idaswebsite.com/schedule/