‘Course it was a big week, what with all the prep. Cleaned the house to within an inch of it’s life, (you know, in case I died during the operation). Then I had to lay in provisions: comfort food, soft and smooth for easy eatin’ with a sore mouth. I made a macaroni and cheese casserole and a batch of squash soup. I whipped together a bread puddin’, too. (You know, strictly for medicinal purposes.) And I confess, there may have been ice cream on hand as well.
To be honest, I was less nervous about havin’ my tooth out than getting a crown. With a crown, no matter how much Novocaine they give you, you can still hear and smell the drill, and feel the vibration of it grindin’ away. Ug! I’m always convinced that at any moment, they’ll hit a nerve and I’ll jump through the roof. The potential of pain just plumb wears me out.
But with my wisdom tooth, Dr. Richards was using my best friend and yours, conscious sedation. Ah, the wonders of modern science! My biggest worry? Getting a caffeine headache, ‘cause my operation wasn’t until late mornin’ and I couldn’t have my usual coffee first thing.
Charlie was my “responsible adult” for the day, drivin’ me to Dr. Richards’ office in Bangor. The place was just like I remembered it, friendly and calm. I barely have to wait five minutes before they usher me out back. I settle into the chair, and they attach little heart monitors to various places on my body. Dr. Richards comes in, shakes my hand, asks how I’m doin’.
Then they put this pink rubbery thing over my nose. It’s for the oxygen, but from my perspective it looks kinda like a pig nose. Oh my God, I’m thinkin’, don’t let me die with this pig nose on! Then they start the laughin’ gas to relax me. At first, nothin’ happens. Then all of sudden, I feel all dreamy, and everyone in the room seems far, far away. I still got that pig nose on, but I’m OK with it.
Then the doc puts a tourniquet on my arm and looks for a vein. When he finds one he likes, he says, “Ida, you’re going to feel a little prick.” I do, and I think, Wow! That really hurt, but I don’t care!”
A second later, it’s all done. Charlie’s hand is on my knee, and he’s talkin’ to me. I’m a little woozy, of course, but five, ten minutes later, we’re good to go.
“Charlie,” I says, on our way outta town. “Stop by Dunkin Donuts. I need a coffee somethin’ fierce!”
“Ida, the nurse said nothin’ too hot in the beginning.”
“Fine, I’ll have ‘em cool it down with an ice cube.”
Next, we swing by Wendy’s, where I order a Frosty, and Charlie the Baconator and fries.
When we get back to the ranch, I go down for a nap, but by supper, I’m feelin’ pretty much myself. Unlike Charlie with his colonoscopy awhile back. That conscious sedation throws him for a loop. If he’s not feelin’ nauseous, he’s singing Kumbaya.
I take it easy the rest of the day, of course, but I went back to work the next day. Easy, peazy!
In a month or so, I have to have a crown put on that tooth in front of where my wisdom tooth was. That’s what started this whole thing. Sad to say, no conscious sedation for that. But I’m telling my dentist the same thing my sister Irene does when she has to have anything done in her mouth: “Doc, just so you know, I want to be numb from the bust up!”
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
March 6: Reading -- Scarborough Public Library, 6:30pm
March 8: Reading -- Woodfords Club, Portland, 7:00pm
March 14: Reading -- Eliot Senior Citizens, Eliot, 11:30am
April 11: Reading -- Auburn Public Library, 6:00pm
April 12: Reading -- Cancer Community Center, South Portland,
April 16: Reading -- Bangor Public Library, 2:00pm
Reading -- Dirigo Pines, Orono, 7:15pm
May 4: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You!
to benefit the Friends of the South Berwick Library, South Berwick,
May 9: Author Visit, Forest Hills Elementary, Jackman
For more information on upcoming appearances, visit my website: idaswebsite.com
If you’d like me to do a reading at your library, organization or what not, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line:
And if your book group wants to read Finding Your Inner Moose, I’d love to be part of the discussion. Especially if food’s involved!